MEN AND DATING – MIND OVER MANNERS by Elisabeth Dabbelt
Nobody likes to be criticized. Nevertheless, it is a fact of life that no one is perfect and everyone could use coaching in some arenas – gentlemen and ladies alike. So here are some guidelines for men by way of a poll taken of women (ages 28-40) who date a minimum of five times a month. Understand that the way you behave on a date matters to potential mates of quality. In other words – here’s how to get a second date.
Question: You are out on a first date with someone. You see your date entering the dining room where you have agreed to meet. What is t he first thing you should do?
A. Take a gulp of wine and get ready for introductions
B. Let the restaurant host or hostess seat your date and take your drink orders
C. Stand up and greet your date by name, if she offers her hand, shake it and see to it that, if you do not seat her yourself, a restaurant staff member does this. Then sit down.
The answer is “C”. Stand up and greet your date. The etiquette behind this is ancient and insures that the man is a gentleman who will take charge if any violence breaks out in the castle or village. Okay, so there are not castles or villages at the restaurant where you’re having dinner with your date, but the effect is still the same. It says that you will protect and respect her. Whether this dating friendship lasts a lifetime or you just become friends, this practice will stand you in good stead. The woman of quality will always remember that you stood up for her the first time you had a date.
If your date excuses herself to “powder her nose,” should you stand up again?
Yes. Then stand up again when she returns unless she indicates that it is okay not to do so. Understanding the profound effect that this one gesture can have on your life, you would be well-advised to take a look at it.
Oh, and by the way, the stand up rule applies to other people as well. The stand up etiquette also applies if the person meeting you is your elder or a woman other than your wife, girlfriend, or date. In the workplace this gesture is vitally important. It conveys the fact that you understand social decorum, and respect the position and status of others.
The dating scene is sometimes confusing and difficult to navigate. This first act of gentility will make up for other, unintentional social blunders that may arise during the course of the evening.
Remember that good manners are contagious, so spread them around. The world could use more truly thoughtful gentlemen. Standing up for your lady may seem awkward at first, but with practice and confidence, you will soon be the man your friends envy for successful dating.