Maintaining Mystique When Dating

Keeping a mysterious persona can take practice and so does the process of feeling comfortable with your enigmatic side.
Enjoy your privacy, respect the privacy of others, and maintain a mystique by following these points:

    • Do not make all your plans public. There are some things that should be kept to oneself.


    • In social situations, including work, do not bludgeon everyone with all of your opinions.
    • Keep people mystified about your personal life.


  • When relating a story, hold back on all the details, the when and why may be kept private. This falls under the category of being fascinating and entertaining without giving away every detail of your life. Say that you were “out with some friends,” and do not elaborate with further details.
  • Make persons who are interested in you realize that others are interested in you as well. It intensifies your desirability.
  • Do not make yourself available too often, and do not explain why. The reason is your business. You do not need to be in constant contact with those you date; your absence will increase their desire for you. For more information contact Elisabeth Dabbelt, Elite Founder & Matchmaker
  • Do not return phone calls immediately, and sometimes wait for the person to call a second time.
  • Do not phone interested parties. Let them call you. This could be a problem with today’s recent trend of men expecting women to call them when they hand out their cards. If this happens, wait a few days to call him, leave a brief message, and then let him call you.
  • Cancel plans on occasion, and do not feel the need to elaborate.
  • Be busy without giving too many details as to where you will be.
  • Never discuss ex partners and do not be set up to listen to someone else drone on about their exes. If this happens, say something like, “let’s just concentrate on the here and now.”
  • Use your Mona Lisa smile to answer questions. This makes people think you have more information that they need to discover.
  • Let others do the chasing, and understand that everyone enjoys the challenge of discovering a mystery. Make people solve the puzzle of you as an enigma.
  • Make sure that your schedule is always full, and have different groups of friends who do not know each other. For example, a historical society and an automobile club.
  • Practice saying, “I have been really busy” or, “my schedule is full,” and do not elaborate. When they do get to go out with you, they will really enjoy your company even more intensely.

Be aware that maintaining a mystique is not to be confused with being evasive, moody, deceitful, or rude. Be polite and kind or your contacts will soon tire of pursuing you and drop you altogether.

Remember that your life does not need to be on display, and that the contemporary trend of disclosing details of one’s personal life to the public at large is unnecessary, vulgar, and boring.

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